Papa John’s and Peyton Manning’s Post Super Bowl Email Exchange

5 Feb

You all saw the Super Bowl. You saw the Seattle Seahawks crush the Denver Broncos in the biggest game of the year. You saw Peyton Manning throw two interceptions and fail to move the ball down field against the Seattle defense. If you didn’t see it, people have been talking about it for days so you‘ve at least heard about it. 

But what you might not know is that there has been a rumor going around (perhaps started by me) that Papa John’s has been considering ending their well-known partnership with Manning after his below average performance in the Super Bowl. 

Look, I’m a journalist, a super-duper respected one at that, so it would be below me to write about a rumor that has no substantial evidence just to get people to read my article. So I did some reporting (and snooping) and obtained the following email exchange between the CEO of Papa John’s, John Schnatter, and Peyton Manning himself. Today I’ll share that email exchange with all of you so that you can see for yourself that the relationship between pizza and quarterback is truly over.

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Monday, February 3rd, 9:02 AM

Peyton. Hey, it’s me, John Schnatter, CEO of Papa John’s. First of all, I want to congratulate you again on a great season. No quarterback has ever had a regular season like the one you had this year. You should be proud. I also want to express my condolences for losing in the Super Bowl to the Seahawks. I know how much that game meant to you.

I know this isn’t a great time, but the reason I’m emailing you is to let you know that we have chosen to drop you as our signature celebrity endorser. The problem is that Seattle really beat you guys up pretty badly. 43-8 is about as bad as it gets. See, at Papa John’s we like to maintain the reputation that we crush our competition. It’s hard to do that when a face of our franchise is getting dominated in front of the entire world. I’m sure you understand.

Sincerely,

John Schnatter,CEO, Papa John’s Enterprises

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To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:12 AM

Papa Nooooooo!!!!!

Seriously Papa you can’t do this to me. Filming those PJ commercials is how I convince myself to get out of bed every morning.

Look, I know the Super Bowl was bad, but you don’t understand how good the Seattle defense was. They were tackling me before I could throw the ball. Normally, when I drop back in the pocket I have about as much time to throw as it takes Domino’s to deliver a pizza (forever), but on Sunday I had about as much time to throw as it takes to fill out a survey online letting us know how your service was at Papa John’s in order to get a free topping on your next pizza (literally seconds).

C’mon Papa, give me another chance.

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:20 AM

I’m really sorry Petyon. We’ve made our decision.

There’s something else I want to talk to you about. I don’t understand why you always call me Papa. My name is John. You can just call me John. Just because I own Papa John’s doesn’t mean people call me Papa. You’re a grown man, Peyton. And I know you have a dad. His name is Archie. He played in the NFL.

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To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:26 AM

He’s my dad? I thought he was my agent. Why is he taking 10% of all my earnings?

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:33 AM

I don’t know, Peyton. That’s something you’ll have to discuss with him. I know this whole thing is hard for you, but it was a pleasure doing business with you and I wish you continued success going forward.

—————————————————————————————————————————

To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:36 AM

Wait…Papa…Can you just answer one question for me? Can you tell me who you picked to replace me as your celebrity endorser?

————————————————————————————————————————–

To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 10:52 AM

I don’t know if this is a good idea. Since you asked, I’ll be honest with you, but please don’t be mad or insulted…We are bringing on Russell Wilson to be the face of Papa John’s.

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To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd, 11:20 AM

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

The guy that played Dwight on The Office? That guy has an even bigger forehead than I do. There’s no way Papa John Nation is going to respond well to him.

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 11:30 AM

What? No that’s Raine Wilson. Russell Wilson is the quarterback of the Seahawks. The guy who literally just beat you in the Super Bowl. How do you not know his name?

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To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd 11:39 AM

Oh, that guy. Yeah, I guess that makes more sense. Did you know he plays baseball too? He’s so athletic and in great shape. He probably doesn’t eat a lot of our signature giant cookie pies. His loss, am I right?

Well, if this is really happening (and I strongly suggest it doesn’t happen) then I have one request. Can I continue to get extra garlic butter packages for free? One packet doesn’t serve a whole pizza and there’s no way I’m spending 75 cents on a little bit of garlic butter.

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 12:02 PM

Seriously? You make like 19 million dollars a year.

——————————————————————————————————————-

To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

Feb. 3rd, 12:27 PM

Actually, I made like 60 million dollars this year. I bet 40 million dollars on the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl.That’s a lot of large Tuscan Six Cheese pizzas, am I right?

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To: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com

From: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com

Feb. 3rd, 12:45 PM

Please don’t email me again. 

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To: SchnattyLiteCEO@PapaJohns.com*

From: ImDaManning@DenverBroncos.com*

Feb. 3rd, 3:30 PM

LOL.

*These are not the real email addresses of John Schnatter or Peyton Manning so don’t try to email them.**

**In fact, none of this is real. 

-Jonny Auping

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