Last night my friend Kyle and I cruised around Uptown Dallas, going from bar to bar, champagning and campaigning, building up bar tabs off of the cheapest available beers, and generally undertipping bartenders.
I don’t normally brag about my success with picking up chicks, but let’s just say at 2:00 AM I was scouring the city looking for a pizza place still open and willing to fill a lonely void inside of me with pepperoni and cheese. Yeah, I’m pretty cool.
Probably needless to say, I woke up this morning feeling a little under 100 percent. I had a small, but noticeable headache and the stains on my shirt suggested that I did indeed find that pizza.
Feeling a little down, I got on to Twitter, which suggested to me that I follow John Stamos. With nothing to lose, I heeded Twitter’s advice and decided to find out what’s been on Uncle Jesse’s mind recently.
It was a great decision. Spending the next fifteen minutes going through Stamos’ Twitter account was the pick-me-up I needed to go on to do such productive things as putting pants on, going outside and even briefly exercising.
Now, there is one huge discovery that came with my decision to follow John Stamos, which I will share with you. But first I wanted to provide you with some of the nifty things that one might find when they decide to open up a new world and step into the Stamos Twitter feed.
- You have to really shift through the tweets, but every 20 or so tweets by Stamos are super inspirational/motivating. Gems like “Remember: the decisions you make in life – really do determine who you are. #notetoself” or “I always like to look at the optimistic side of life, but I’m realistic to know that life is a complex matter. Walt Disney.” Both really deep.
Or when he blew my mind by asking the Twitter universe, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” He’s like a really handsome Buddha. Does he know the answer to this question or is he actually asking us? I don’t think all one-year olds know how old they are. Is that the answer?
- The vast majority of his tweets are just him sharing his Instagram photos of how cool his life is. There are pictures of him hanging out with other celebrities like Luke Wilson, the Beach Boys, James Earl Jones and Kevin Spacey.
He just takes pictures of pretty much everything that he comes across and puts it on Twitter. At one point he tweets “Don’t you just hate it when the paparazzi snaps ya coming out of the voting booth without your hair and makeup.”
And even includes a picture of the paparazzi taking picture of him. It’s a really solid point. I know I hate it.
- On November 2nd, Stamos tweeted “I go to tweet something but it all seems so frivolous (even more than usual) when reading about the heartbreaking devastation of #Sandy” Then on November 4th he tweeted about the last episode of “ER.” I’m glad he was able to recover and get back to frivolous matters.
- John Stamos has a strange interest in Willy Wonka. There are nonsensical tweets about Wonka sporadically spread over months of tweeting. At one point in September, he just tweeted, “Willy Wonka: Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted. He lived happily ever after.” This guy is definitely a wild card.
- Stamos only follows 68 people and one of them is Nick Jonas. Why is he following him and not the other two Jonas Brothers? Does he think that Nick is the most talented and is going to break off into a solo career? Did this already happen and I just don’t know about it? Should I be following Nick Jonas?
Big Huge Discovery
Everything I’ve told you so far is pretty irrelevant and probably has had a very small impact on your day. But this is huge. If you grew up in the nineties then I’m sure you were a big fan of “Full House.” It was about three dudes who raised three daughters in a house. There was a dog. They lived in San Francisco. Shenanigans usually took place, but they worked through them with common love.
Well, Stamos tweeted a link full of pictures to the 25th anniversary of “Full House.”
46 Photos. A cake shaped like their house. Joey. Even Gibler!
Here is that link:
My only concern: Where’s Comet? And don’t even think about saying what I I think you’re going to say. Not possible.
Oh, it doesn’t end there. Stamos also tweeted a poorly shot video of Gibbler and D.J. from the “Full House” drunkenly singing and dancing.
“I’m definitely tweeting this shit.”
I was the 980,741st follower of John Stamos. It’s good to know Uncle Jesse is still out there, fighting the good fight.