DMX: More Than Just A Christmas Miracle

By now you’ve probably seen it. It’s been circulating the internet since the beginning of December. It has officially marked the start of the Christmas season and it’s one of the most unusual renderings of any holiday song ever performed.

Of course, I’m talking about the video of DMX singing the “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” If you haven’t seen it then here is DMX singing/shouting/barking/grunting the Christmas jingle by memory:

I would never deny that this video is buzz-worthy, it’s a great video to show young children to get them in the Christmas spirit/show them the dangers of drugs. But I think the video has brought a lot of attention to DMX from people who believe that he is a new commodity to Youtube. That’s simply not the case. This guy has been an insane person for years now.

So I think it’s only right that we showcase some of the best DMX-related videos from the past for all the bandwagon DMX observers.

DMX Finds Out About Google in 2012

This video  is entitled “DMX’s First Encounter With Google,” but it definitely seems like it’s his first encounter with a computer in general.

Best Part of Video: When DMX tells Google to “just get a regular word! What the f*ck’s a Google?”

He does have a pretty good point. Why don’t you just get a regular word, Google? I mean, grow up.

Second Best Part of Video: When DMX perfectly expresses all of our feelings when the colored pinwheel comes up on our Mac and the computer freezes for a few seconds.

DMX Explains Why He Should be Allowed to Cheat On His Wife, To His Wife, In Relationship Counseling

This video is a little vulgar, but blame the people at VH1, not me. It’s also kind of sad, to be honest. But it’s a little bit easier to watch if you pretend the wife isn’t in the video and just focus on the ridiculous things that come out of DMX’s mouth.

Best Part of Video: Kasey Kahl, who apparently qualifies as a celebrity for this show because he was on a season of The Bachelorette, is watching the conversation in a hoodie with the hood up like a complete idiot. Every time the camera switches to him, it’s hard not to imagine him thinking, “Man, I hope DMX doesn’t beat the hell out of me for no reason.”

Second Best Part of Video: When DMX defends himself by saying that telling someone to “Shut the f*ck up” isn’t calling them a name.

The encounter went like this:

“Did I disrespect you? Did I call you a name?”

“Yeah, you told me to shut the f*ck up.”

“That’s not calling you a name. See, this is our communication process.”

Once again, DMX’s logic is hard to beat. He didn’t call her a name. If she would just listen they would probably have a better communication process. It seems like deep down that’s the root of their problems: communication, not infidelity.

Third Best Part of the Video: The fact that DMX gets up with a tray that seems to be holding two bowls of cereal, oatmeal or soup.

I really have a feeling that it’s cereal. I don’t know why, it’s just a hunch. The fact that he just had an argument more intense than probably any argument I’ll ever have with anyone and he gets up and storms off with two bowls of Frosted Flakes just blows my mind.

DMX Finds Out Lil B Titled His Album “I’m Gay.”

The young rapper Lil B titled his debut album “I’m Gay.” Lil B is not gay, but he named the album that for attention and claimed that it showed his security with his sexuality and removed the stigma from the word. DMX was not in support.

Best Part of the Video: The part from  0:00 to 1:44 where DMX appears to be out of his mind on drugs.

DMX In A McDonalds

This is a video of DMX in a McDonalds in Yonkers, New York.

The Best Part of the Video: When DMX says “This is where you see how much love you got, for real” and then proceeds to make initial contact with nearly everyone near the counter including three teenage boys who do not smile at him and just say “what up” back, a man who he refers to as DJ Superior, who doesn’t seem to act like he’s ever met DMX and won’t let him cut him in line, and a McDonalds employee who is just trying to deliver food to a police officer.

 The Second Best Part of the Video: When DMX says “This is where it all started.” Remember, he’s in a McDonalds.

Third Best Part of the Video: When DMX says “When you serve a purpose you get special treatment.” I think this article is the last purpose DMX has served in quite some time.

DMX Incites a Riot in Colorado Springs

This is a video showing the beginnings of a riot that he helped start in the largely white, affluent city of Colorado Springs.

Best Part of This Video: Hearing DMX scream “You ain’t no police at a security guard.” CLASSIC DMX.

The Second Best Part of the Video: When the guy with the camera calmly says “you’re going to have a riot on your hands,” and the big security guard totally overreacts and yells ” GET THE F*CK OUT” at him.

So uhh yeah… That’s DMX.

I hope we’ve all learned something together.

-Jonny Auping

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