Rappers’ Takes On Valentine’s Day

This will mark the first time in a few years that I don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day. The thought of chocolate hearts, romantic dinners and horse drawn carriages has left me in a slightly emotional, fragile and confused state.

So in order to make sense of all these Valentine’s Day feelings I turned to the wisest and most rationale group of people out there: rappers. Hip hop has taught me plenty of things from how to dougie to how to rob (I have yet to take advantage of either, but still). So I took to twitter to see if the rap community could help me with the Valentine’s Blues.

Here’s what I came up with:

*Also provided is an additional non-related tweet to allow for some deeper perspective of the rapper’s wisdom.

MEEK MILL

Word. I’m going to call it Thursday too. Or Day That Parks and Recreation Is on. Or Treat Yo Self Day. Great advice Aziz… I mean Meek.

Additional Wisdom:

I feel like people who take this advice to heart will have trouble becoming huge fans of this website. I wrote an entire article about Don Cheadle on The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirProps to anyone who thought twice and still gave a f*ck about that.

________________________________________________________

Mista FAB

I have no idea what this luncheon consists of, but my imagination is running wild. I assume there are a bunch of rappers present and they are all consoling each other through heartbreak from the past over lobster bisque and side salads. I would also like to think there is a lot of Ghost Riding happening within a reasonable distance of the luncheon.

Additional Wisdom:

Seriously people, the tickets to the luncheon are TEN dollars, not nine.

________________________________________________________

Joe Budden

C’mon Joe, I’m looking to you guys for advice. You can’t be asking me questions.

I clearly came to the wrong person.

______________________________________________________

Ludacris

For someone who is normally really smooth in his songs that was a pretty unfunny and disturbing joke.

Additional wisdom:

Now that’s a funny joke. Also, I don’t recommend doing this at all. Spolier alert: the flight crashes in Flight.

________________________________________________________

Nicki Minaj 

It isn’t weird that she tweeted this. It’s weird that she retweeted most of the responses. And they’re just about as vulgar as you might expect.

Additional wisdom:

Don’t sell yourself short, anyone who does well in school, or accomplishes anything for that matter, should attribute it to you, Nicki Minaj.

________________________________________________________

Juicy J

Some of us don’t have someone to spoil, JJ. Or any money to spoil her with. Sometimes I feel like you don’t get me at all.

Additional Wisdom:

Alright, alright, I take it back. You DO get me.

——————————————————–
I don’t know about you guys, but I for one learned nothing.
Happy Valentine’s
-Jonny Auping
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One thought on “Rappers’ Takes On Valentine’s Day

  1. You actually make it seem really easy with your presentation but I
    find this matter to be actually something that I think I’d never understand.
    It sort of feels too complex and extremely wide for me. I’m looking forward in your next submit,
    I’ll try to get the dangle of it!

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