The Worst Commercials on TV

Have you ever watched those programs called “Funniest Commercials of 2012″ on stations like TBS? I hope not, because it’s a pretty terrible experience. Here are the five reasons that you would probably hate watching a program like that.

  1. The fact that you are watching that program reminds you how uneventful and boring your life is.
  2. The commercials usually aren’t funny.
  3. If the commercials are funny then you’ve probably seen them countless time back when they were actually commercials, which means they’re not funny anymore.
  4. You’re watching commercials for an hour.
  5. The somewhat decent commercials being honored on the show make the actual commercials during the commercial break seem that much more excruciating.  

Because I hate those shows and, like everyone else who watches television, think to myself “I could easily make better commercials,” I am going to show you some of the worst commercials currently on television. Instead of being constructive and actually following through with my claim to be able to make commercials, I’ll just be critical of those who make them. I’ll also try to add humor to my criticism so that you can tell I am witty enough to be able to make commercials, if I wanted to. But I don’t want to. You’ll just have to believe me that I could. 

Chuck Liddell Opens Doors For You:

Host at the restaurant: “Do you have reservations? We’re all booked up.”

Chuck Liddell pops up, smiling: “We don’t have a reservation.”

Host: “Ohhhhhh, I didn’t realize you were here, Mr. Liddell. In that case, I think we have a table available over in 2007 when you were still relevant and somewhat famous.”

Do you Know Where This Fiat Belongs?:

If I were forced to drive around in a tiny, colorful Fiat that looks like a toy that a cast member of Real Housewives of Atlanta would buy their daughter as their weekday car, then do you know what I would want to do with it? Drive it into the middle of the ocean.

So you know what’s probably not a good marketing campaign for a little Fiat?

Showing people drive them into the middle of the ocean.

2 Fast 2 Furiously addicted to Chicken Sandwiches:

If you pause this video 1 second in there will already be so much to look at. You have a guy riding on the back  of a motorcycle with another guy wearing a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. The guy riding on the back is holding up two bags of McDonalds and there are bikers popping wheelies behind them. 

Then we see a whole garage full of racially ambiguous people looking super clean and sexy while they inattentively work on automobiles, read magazines and eat McDonalds.

This video is uploaded by Curtis Hamilton, the actor who dramatically takes a bite of the chicken sandwich. I’m not trying to make fun of Curtis, I know he’s just trying to promote his work and get his name out there, but if you watch the video slowly you might notice something. He claims in the comments “Yea that’s me enjoying the sandwich.” But he starts to take a bite of the sandwich and then it cuts to a shot of him chewing and the sandwich is completely intact. He doesn’t even take a real bite. They must have used a lot of CGI to pull that off. It kind of makes me question whether that really cool motorcycle garage even exists.

Sooo, did that girl have sex with a couch?:

Here’s the description Bud Light provides for this video:

“Saying farewell to an old friend isn’t easy; especially when it’s a couch. Watch roommates deliver their goodbyes and see a possible new life for the old couch. Out with the old and in with the new. Here we go!”

Here we go, indeed. 

Questions I have about this commercial:

  1. Does that white guy actually know how to play the guitar?
  2. What does that chick mean by “You were my first?” Her first couch? Is that something people say? How many Bud Lights has she had?
  3. Does that black guy really need those glasses? Do you really think there are prescription lenses in them? Do all young black guys in commercials have to wear glasses?
  4. Where did that traveling pack of homeless people get that six-pack of Bud Light and where are they taking that couch?

Just Randomly Choose Our Cars:

If the car’s good enough for a baby who hasn’t even developed his motor skills then it’s good enough for me. 

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Sadly, I own a Toyota, eat at McDonalds and drink Miller Lite and Bud Light regularly.

Jonny Auping

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