The Trendy Tourney is a 16-seed tournament of all things trendy created in order to determine what is the biggest fad of the moment.
And then there were eight.
Eight people, shows, apps, foods and drugs left in the Trendy Tournament. A lot less people complained to me about things after the results of the first round so I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Sorry Duck Dynasty fans. You have to get over it.
It’s time to get into the second round results. A lot of really tough match-ups here. Unfortunately, we had to eliminate four spots. So here are the results:
[8-seed] Molly defeats [1-seed] Vines
Wow, the number one seed is taken down in the second round. It’s a pretty stunning development, but the drug that now only losers call “X” or “E” or “MDMA” has defeated Vines.
I think people are starting to realize how insignificant Vines really are. It’s just a short video of someone doing a beer bong or something. Nobody likes watching other people’s Vines, they just like posting their own.
But ultimately the deciding factor was this music video by rapper Tyga:
You know how Vines are usually just short videos of crazy shit happening while someone manages to say something ignorant in the five second window? Well, this is just a four minute video of crazy shit happening with a whole lot of ignorant stuff being said. And it’s all about Molly.
Now a Vine of people on Molly? That would be a whole other story…
[5-seed] Lists on the Internet defeats [13-seed] Doritos Locos Tacos
So far Lists on the Internet has rolled through its competition. They are surging in momentum as this tournament has gone on. Try to log on to Facebook and not find someone posting about a list of things from the nineties and claiming it makes them “feel so old.”
It was a good run for Doritos Locos Tacos. They took down the 5-seed Crossfit and just yesterday I had two text conversations about Doritos Locos Tacos that somehow had nothing to do with this tournament. Their cultural relevance is not in danger. But they ran into a buzzsaw today. They never stood a chance.
[3-seed] Emojis defeat [11-seed] Johnny Football
Johnny Football put up a good fight. He really did all he could. He played football exceptionally well. He got suspended. He acted like a total douchebag. He’s really the total package.
But at the end of the day, a non-football fan might have heard of him, but they don’t know much about him and don’t care. Emoticons/Emojis apply to everyone. I mean how are we supposed to express our emotions? With our words? Eff that noise.
It looks like Emojis have found their way into the Final Four…..Feeling Anxious
[2-seed] Breaking Bad defeats [7-seed] Anna Kendrick
This one hurt. Anna Kendrick doesn’t deserve to lose things. She deserves to win things. She deserves to win Trendy Tournies, Oscars, Grammys, acapella competitions…all of them. But the people have spoken. More people have reached out to me voting for Breaking Bad than any other contestant. In fact, most of them don’t even bother to vote for anything else. They just want to make their Breaking Bad obsession known.
But if you really want to know why Breaking Bad won, then just try to spoil an episode for someone who is a few behind. They will attempt to kill you. I’m serious. Friendships end over this sort of thing. Anna Kendrick doesn’t have that type of power.
So here is what the Final Four looks like:
[5-seed] Lists On the Internet versus [8-seed] Molly
[2-seed] Breaking Bad versus [3-seed] Emojis
The results will be posted early next week. If you contact me at Jonathan.Auping@gmail.com or @JonathanAuping then your opinion will be factored in.