The Trendy Tourney is a 16-seed tournament of all things trendy created in order to determine what is the biggest fad of the moment.
After four exciting and dramatic rounds of action, we have finally made it to the championship. I’d like to first start off by saying that I appreciate all the people who involved themselves in the process by emailing me or tweeting me with their opinions. I can promise every one of your voices was heard and factored into the process. Everyone who emailed me or tweeted at me to complain about results that were already posted, I assure you every one of your voices were heard, but factored into absolutely nothing. We will try to do more slightly interactive posts in the future.
I’d like to be able to tie all this together with a cool little bracket that shows the result of the entire tournament, but that would take way too much time and energy and I’m not smart enough to actually make it look good anyway. So instead of that, we’ll quickly recap how each fad made it to the championship.
Breaking Bad started off tournament play by knocking out Saying YOLO Ironically in the first round. From there they had a really tough matchup with Anna Kendrick. Kendrick gave the AMC show a real run for its money, but even her critical acclaim in the film Drinking Buddies wasn’t enough to take down Heisenberg. In the Final Four the show took on Emojis and just barely came out on top.
Lists on the Internet began the tournament with a landslide victory over Jadeveon Clowney who barely even put up a fight. Then they quickly took out the Cinderella of the first round, Doritos Locos Tacos. In the Final Four they faced off against Molly and really exposed its weakness (i.e. more people talk about Molly than actually do it).
So it all comes down to this.
Now [2-seeded] Breaking Bad faces off against [5-seeded] Lists on the Internet for all the marbles.
After much deliberation, the results are in. The winner of the 2013 Late August/early September edition of the Trendy Tournament is….
I owe it to you guys to be honest with you. This is my tournament. Altogether it will total just over 4000 words, all written by me. I really did factor in every single one of your opinions. But at the end of the day it’s my decision.
I probably received a few more votes for Lists on the Internet. But here’s the catch, I hate lists on the internet and I can’t stand the notion of them winning a tournament that I created. Lists on the Internet are not a fad, they are an epidemic.
Anyone can write a list. The number is arbitrary. I could write “35 Things Keenan and Kel Told Us About the US involvement in Syria” or “22 Sandlot Quotes Single People Should Live By” but they will be 80 percent pictures, make no sense and have maybe four clever jokes in the entire piece, yet they would spread like wildfire because people want to A.) “Read” something that takes less time than a Pop Tart takes to cook and B.) Share something nostalgic with someone they haven’t seen in a while. It’s gotten out of control.
One list we can endorse at Stories For Sunday is “24 Signs There Are Too Many Lists on the Internet.”
One problem that arises is the fact that there are plenty of lists on the Internet that involve Breaking Bad and there will continue to be more. A friend of mine, Joe, pointed out to me that “‘5 Ways Breaking Bad Should Have Ended’ will exist within minutes of the finale.” This is a solid point, but the question is who gets credit for this, Lists or Breaking Bad? I say it’s a wash. But considering you could write about 50 Buzzfeed/Thought Catalog lists in the time it takes to shoot one Walt Jr. breakfast scene, I’d personally give the edge to Breaking Bad.
Let’s not pretend that Breaking Bad won by default. The show has completely captivated the nation. You still can’t talk about season 2 in public because someone who isn’t caught up might try to murder you the way Gail gets murdered at the end of season 2 (sorry). Just as many people talk about Breaking Bad monday morning as talk about all the NFL games combined (according to something I just made up).
There’s only 3 episodes left and no one has any idea what’s going to happen. Is Walter going to die? Will Jesse die? Is Walter Jr. going to get one last hearty breakfast in? Any single character could die in these last three episodes and no one would be surprised (I’m assuming they won’t kill the baby because that would be pretty brutal, but any other character could die).
And on top of all this is the fact that R. Kelly’s “Ignition Remix” was remixed using only lines from Breaking Bad. Anything Kells touches instantly wins trendy points as far as I’m concerned.
(Shown to me by Clark):
Also, I think this story/video will hold up as culturally relevant for years to come:
“There’s blueberries just floating out there, frozen, cause it’s in space..”
Also, no character in TV in the past ten years is as universally liked as Jesse Pinkman. He can be angry, he can be sad, drugged out, devastated, scared… no matter what he’s doing everybody wants him to win in the end. Plus, he says awesome stuff like this:
Breaking Bad will never be more trendy as it is over the next three weeks. And the excitement that it generates in people crushes the excitement that anyone gets over reading a list on the internet. That is why it is the champion of the Trendy Tourney.*
*That being said, there are only three episodes left and if Skinny Pete and Badger don’t get any airtime in any of them then I might have to retroactively eliminate the show in the first round.