Jeff Goldblum Talks About Vince Vaughn Like He’s Dead

jeff and vince

I’m a huge Jurassic Park fan. Naturally I’m very excited about the production of the fourth JP film that will star Chris Pratt, Judy Greer and Jake Johnson. But the only downside of the fourth film coming out is that it will push the most overlooked Jurassic Park film even deeper into irrelevance. 

The second film of the series, The Lost World is considered by most to be the worst of the franchise. I, however, have a soft spot for the 1997 film for a number of reasons: Ian Malcom, played by Jeff Goldblum (and my favorite character in the original), is the lead of the move, stealing a baby T-Rex is a significant plot point (pretty obvious what this would lead to), a giant T-Rex is brought back to San Diego and roams around the city, and perhaps the number one reason: Vince Vaughn plays a character named Nick Van Owen. 

I was recently snooping around YouTube and came across a number of tiny segments that were made in accordance with the release of a packaged Jurassic Park trilogy. One of the short segments was specifically about Vince Vaughn. The segment is narrated by Jeff Goldblum. After watching the video a couple times, I’ve come to the conclusion that Goldblum does not realize that Vaughn is alive and well. 

Imagine Goldblum following up his final words in the video with, “I’m really going to miss Vince.”

I’ve decided that I really want Jeff Goldblum to be interviewed after my death (in the event that I for some reason die before Jeff Goldblum).

I’ve also decided that I’m very angry at Jeff Goldblum for not showing us the dance that Vince Vaughn was talking about.

I also decided to halt my Jurassic Park Youtube research and begin some Jeff Goldblum Youtube research and I found a bunch of videos where Goldblum’s voice is slowed down and he appears drunk.

Like this one:

Or this one:

Now you’re on the Internet, now you’re emailing everybody in the world, you’re playing the greatest games.”

Or this slowed down scene from Jurassic Park:

Or this great Pay Pay commercial:

Anyway, the point is that Jeff Goldblum is a complete wildcard and I felt like watching Youtube videos more than I felt like writing today. Also, Vince Vaughn is still alive. 

-Jonny Auping

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