YOLO + FOMO = HOBO

yolo

 

Larry went to pick up his friend, Pete, on the way to the party they were planning to attend that night.

 

Hey, Pete, you still want to go to that party tonight?”

Fo Sho.”

“Ok, you mind if I use your bathroom real quick before we leave?”

No, no

(Toilet flushes) “Alright man, I think I’m ready-…..Dude! Did you just eat that entire can of Pringles while I was in the bathroom?”

YOLO

“I guess, but you won’t live long eating like that. How do you feel?”

So-so

“Yeah, I bet. You look like you’re going to throw up. We can just skip the party if you want.”

FOMO

“Alright, alright. Well, do you want me to just go to the party for the first thirty minutes and see if the it’s actually cool? That way you’ll know if it’s worth going.”

Go Pro

“Seriously? Fine, but you know I hate wearing that thing on my head. You shouldn’t need footage, you should just trust me….Do you know what the dress code for this thing is? Will this shirt do? I have a few others in my car.

Polo

“Ok, perfect. Do you want me to come back and get you if the party is cool or should I just text you and you can come on your own?”

Solo

“Sounds good. I’ll text you in about an hour.”

…..90 minutes later Larry returns after Pete failed to respond to any of his texts. When he found him on the ground Pete was staring at the words in his phone like they were in another language. It was a pathetic sight. From what Larry could gather it looked as though Pete had forgotten how to read. 

“Dude! I’ve been texting you all night to come to the party. It was the most amazing party I’ve ever been to. That girl you really like was asking about you. I had never heard of this, but apparently it’s actually illegal to have that much fun. The cops finally came and shut us down for excessive enjoyment.”

Po Po?”

“Yep….Pete, I have to tell you, things have really gone down hill with you. You can’t even read anymore. At first, YOLO and FOMO were kind of funny, but things have gotten out of control since you started using all these abbreviations and acronyms. Look at yourself. What have you become?

(Pete stares somberly at the ground) “HOBO

H.O.B.O. = Hopeless Or Basically Obsolete  

Jonny Auping

 

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