Two Turtles React to Katy Perry’s AMA Performance

2 turtles


Harold and Brian are two neighbor turtles that commute to work every day. Their job is about 150 feet away, making it a 45-minute commute. This was their conversation Monday morning:

“Mornin’ Brian, how was your weekend?”

“Hey Harold. It was pretty rough actually. My wife’s parents were staying with us and I had to pick them up from the creek. I’ll tell you what, if Suzy looks like her mom by the time she’s 250 I might have to reassess a few things. I know I said I’d love her unconditionally, but yikes.”

“Speaking of Unconditionally…did you see that Katy Perry performance at the AMAs last night? Seemed a little racist don’t you think?”

“I don’t know. Everyone’s acting all shell-shocked by it, but it didn’t seem that bad to me. She was dressed like a geisha, but it’s not like she was making fun of asian people.”

“I disagree. Her performance was ridiculous. She’s just taking a culture that she knows nothing about and using it as a gimmick in her performance. What if she had performed in black face? Would that have been acceptable? Also, the song says ‘I will love you unconditionally…’ Doesn’t that kind of reenforce stereotypes about Asian females being subservient to their men?”

“Geez, who tightened your shell? I will admit you have a point about the Asian females. I visited a friend in China a few years back and let’s just say his wife was certainly not subservient. Guy might as well have been dating a snapping turtle.”

“I didn’t know you went to China.”

“Oh yeah. I’m still trying to get the rice out of my shell.”

“That actually seems kind of racist to say.”

“What? Find one turtle in the world that doesn’t love rice. And it’s so abundant there. I ate an acorn that a squirrel dropped for dinner yesterday. I would kill for some fresh rice.”

“Well, either way, I just flat out don’t like that “Unconditional” song and her tacky performance didn’t help. I may be a turtle, but even I think that song’s too slow.”

“To be honest, that performance didn’t offend me nearly as much as her song ‘Roar.’ She basically claims to be a tiger. That’s supposed to be acceptable? Where does she get off? I’ve got tiger friends so I’m definitely not okay with that.”

“Please…you’re lying straight through your gums. I’ve known you for 20 years, you don’t have any tiger friends.”

“I mean, I’m not close with them, but I’ve talked to a couple. And every time I walk by one we give each other head nods so I feel like I’m pretty cool with them.”

“Sure man, you’ve got about as much street cred as Franklin.”

“More like Donatello…”

“Don’t you think that someone close to Katy Perry could have told her the performance might offend some people?”

“Shell-yeah they could have. But those same people could have told her that writing a song about having sex with an alien would make her sound a little slutty. Now, if she wrote a song about getting down with a turtle…”

“Oh, come on man! You’re old enough to be her great, great, great, great grandfather.”

“Calm down, I’m just kidding. Did you see Miley and her cat?”

“Yeah, but I’m sick of talking about Miley.”

“Fair enough. We’re here anyway. What’s your plan for lunch?”

“I heard there’s a new twig over on the other side of the tree.”

“Cool, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

“Shell ya later.”

To read Harold and Brian’s reaction to Miley’s VMA performance click here

Jonny Auping

The Entourage Cast’s IMDB Pages

Remember when Entourage went off the air and every guy on the planet had to focus on their not-nearly-as-cool-as-Vince-Chase’s-life-life? Well, I had advice for the cast of Entourage around that time. My advice was that they officially change their names to the names of their characters on the show and try to typecast themselves into popular films. It would help obsessive Entourage fans into thinking the plot is actually real (even though this would actually make no sense. How would casting a fictional Hollywood character into a fictional movie even work? Would they understand they are in a movie or just kind of go with the plot?). The point is that it would be fun. Imagine Turtle in a Fast and Furious movie. Or Johnny Drama in an episode of Modern Family. Or “E” as the best friend in Don Jon.

Unfortunately, I never put this idea into writing. I just talked about it like two times to random people after a few beers. So clearly they never took my advice. They were more interested in “expanding their range” and “trying out new roles.” Well how has that gone for them?

It has gone terribly. That Entourage movie can’t come soon enough.

Here’s a quick glance at the recent work of Vinny Chase and the boys:

Adrian Grenier (Vince Chase):

photo 4

That’s four question marks next to the Entourage film. Even IMDB is anxious. They are basically saying “umm he was in two movies, he narrated one, he was in the Entourage show and uhhh….they’re doing a movie of that too…right?…Yeah, whatever, let’s just list it.”

Yeah I know, my IMDB impression is pretty dead on.

Jerry Ferrara (Turtle):

photo 3

A big 2014 coming up for Turtle.  He’s set to be in Think Like a Man Too in which he’ll be playing the role of the white guy Jeremy. 

Kevin Connolly (“E”):

photo 2

To be fair, Connolly does end up dating Drew Barrymore in He’s Just Not That Into You. Connolly and Griener were both allowed their one big box office movies with star actors. It was their “Hey, it’s that guy from Entourage” movies. Grenier’s was The Devil Wears Prada. 

Kevin Dillon (Johnny “Drama”)

photo 1

Dillon is the exception. Little known fact: Dillion’s role as “Carl Scudder” in Hotel For Dogs was Daniel Day Lewis’ inspiration when he was shooting Lincoln. 

Well, that was depressing. Jeremy Piven is the only actor that came out of that series with people actually calling him by his real name, which is ironic considering Ari Gold was easily the most memorable character from the show. Honestly, in order to find those IMDB pages I had to google “Vince, E, Turtle and Drama”

Then I heard that Mark Wahlberg claimed that greediness was the reason for the setbacks in the Entourage movie. It turns out Ferrara and Grenier are not signed on to the film. Seriously? You guys think they were going to cast you in Gravity? 

Then I became completely at ease when Grenier Instagrammed a picture of the four actors together with these words over the image:

To all Entourage fans. I owe it to you to make a couple things clear. I take my role as Vince on the show & off very seriously. All decisions I make personally & for business are for the principle of friendship and brotherhood. It has, & never will be about the money for me. I promise. I will always stand up for the boys (that includes you) & do what I can to make sure they are treated fairly, and not be taken advantage of by anybody. The spirit of Entourage is about sharing the opportunities given to us and I will sign any deal that gives ALL the boys an opportunity to share in the upside of success EQUALLY. I assure you, despite the perception, there is no greed in my heart. Remember, it will all work out in the end. It always does. —— I will try to answer questions with hashtag#entourageboysshare

He literally could not have thought of a more Vince thing to say, right down to calling fans of Entourage “the boys.” 

So rest easy, people who want to see four guys degrade women and one agent scream homophobic slurs at his asian assistant, Entourage will be back. That being said, if 2 Chainz doesn’t have a cameo, they will have at least one angry fan on their hands. 

-Jonny Auping

The Day I Followed Topanga on Twitter

October 6th, 2013.

That was the day I made the decision to follow Danielle Fishel AKA Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets World on Twitter.

 The process came with a lot of emotions and feelings that I had to confront. It started with “Maybe I should follow Topanga on Twitter.” Then there was “I’m about to follow Topanga on Twitter.” And finally, “Wow, I’m following Topanga on Twitter.”

I’m extremely excited about my decision to keep up with Topanga because as a human who breathed oxygen during the nineties, I’m a huge fan of Boy Meets World

This is a new chapter of my life and moving forward these are a few things I expect to look forward to as a follower of Topanga:

  • Constant updates on the status of Girl Meets WorldIt’s been 13 years since Boy Meets World went off the air. I’ll take any news I can get on the condition of the Matthews family. Pretty much anything she tweets about the show will probably put me in an exponentially better mood. 
  • Online interaction with other actors from Boy Meets WorldAbout a month ago she tweeted this:

I knew they <3’ed each other in real life! Who do you think the 905th retweet was? This guy.

  • Twitter beef with other nineties sitcom actresses. DJ from Full House, The Mowery twins from Sister Sister, Ashley Banks from Fresh Prince, Sabrina (The Teenage Witch), even Rachel from Friends….As far as I’m concerned, they’re all just competing for second place. Remind me which one is reprising her role by popular demand? I expect Topanga to go full Kendrick Lamar on these chicks and remind everyone who the queen is.
  • Returning the favor and following me back. A follow by Topanga would be the ultimate trump card. Sure, right now I’m an underachieving college graduate that still eats Frosted Flakes almost every morning, but if Topanga followed me on Twitter I’d be like the coolest guy I know. I’d at least be as cool as Jack Hunter.
  •  Twitter recommending other former cast members of Boy Meets World for me to follow. I’m especially excited for this part. Right now, to the left of my Twitter feed are the words “who to follow.” Under it are three accounts: Rider Strong (Shawn Hunter), Girl Meets World and Ben Savage (Corey Matthews). I can’t wait for it to start suggesting people like Minkus, Chet Hunter, Frankie the Enforcer (and his sidekick Joey) and Janitor Bud.
  • Vines of weird interpretive dance poems:

It doesn’t have to be everyday or anything, Topanga, but if you can do something like that maybe every 10-14 days that would be great. I think it would help a lot of people to know that no matter what they are struggling with in life, Topanga is out there somewhere doing Topanga things. 

Now all I can do is glue myself to my Twitter feed and wait for all of these things to come true. Anyone looking for the same experience, it’s as simple as clicking a button.

Jonny Auping

Television’s Badger and Skinny Pete Power Rankings

I have never checked the statistics of this website to see how many people are reading it. Not once. For all I knew, no one is reading any of these words. Last Sunday, I realized that people actually are reading.

I realized it during the series finale of Breaking Bad. The episode featured the triumphant return of Badger and Skinny Pete (if you haven’t seen it yet, calm down, that spoiled nothing…except for, you know, the best part). I have written an indefensible amount of words about Badger and Skinny Pete on this website. I was pleasantly surprised by the number of tweets (and texts) that I was berated with within five minutes of B & SP hitting the screen. 

So I guess…thank you guys for reading.

Anyway, I also became sad that Breaking Bad was over because it meant that I had probably written my last words about my two favorite characters. Then I realized that Vince Gillagon and AMC don’t own me. If I want to write about them one more time then I will.

So I created the “Badger and Skinny Pete Power Rankings” for all of television past and present. See, plenty of shows have characters like B & SP: buddies who are almost always together and lighten the mood one way or another.

The criteria is pretty loose. To qualify neither of the characters can be considered the lead in the series. They can have extremely small roles in the show or they can be prominently featured. They have to be friends and they have to give the show a more broad perspective beyond the main characters.

Without further ado, here are the rankings:

8.) Angel and Masuka from Dexter

To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of Dexter, probably because 80 percent of the cast are really average actors. I’m also only two seasons into it so for all I know, both of these characters could be murdered by now.

But Angel and Masuka give the show the random comedic twist that any serial killer-based plot needs. This is exactly what we would all expect the Miami police force to look like; a stereotypical Puerto Rican guy wearing a fedora and a small, perverted Asian man.

7.) Marcus and Mo from Smart Guy

I would have watched this show without T.J. Honestly, I would have.

Here’s a sentence I copied and pasted from the Wikipedia page for Morris L. “Mo” Tibbs:

“He is typically portrayed in the show as being dimwitted (such as confusing a rasher with a haberdasher) and sometimes gullible, to the point where in the episode “I Was a Teenage Sports Wife”, T.J. makes Mo part of a placebo experiment by giving him sugar-filled pill capsules that T.J. claims will stimulate synapses in the brain (therefore increasing intelligence), in order to better perform on tests, only for Mo to inform other students about the pills and flooding T.J. with offers for the “brain pills”.”

I don’t know what’s more sad, the fact that someone took the time to write that on Wikipedia or the fact that I very clearly remember that episode.

6.) Brett and Harris (Animal Control) from Parks and Recreation

Brett and Harris have only been on Parks and Rec a few times (Harris Wittles is a writer for the show), but every time has been amazing. On the sad day when Parks and Recreation is taken off the air, I would be totally fine with an Animal Control spinoff. 

You wouldn’t watch these guys for 30 minutes a week?:

5.) Frankie and Joey from Boy Meets World

Frankie and Joey were more than just bullies, they were deeply complex and emotional characters and arguably better friends than Cory and Shawn. They were like the “Huell and Kuby” of Boy Meets World.

*Since we jumped from Parks and Recreation to Boy Meets World, I feel obligated to share this clip from the show guest starring Adam Scott and featuring defining performances by both Frankie and Joey:

4.) Sherri and Terri from The Simpsons:

Sherrri and Terri are the only females to make the power rankings, as well as the only duo who are blood-related.

They are essentially one character because it’s impossible to know which one is which at any given time. They made it this high in the rankings mostly because they gave us this:

3.) Bubbles and Johnny from The Wire

The Wire was a television show about Baltimore police officers trying to catch Baltimore drug dealers. Somewhere in between those two worlds are the Baltimore drug fiends. Enter Bubbles and Johnny. They live frighteningly depressing and desperate lives. They show us the harsh reality of people who have lost everything from drug addiction. Yet they find a way to provide comedic relief while they’re doing it. 

2.) Statler and Waldorf (old men) from The Muppets:

You may be a smart ass, but you’ll never be “old men in the balcony from The Muppets” smart ass. These guys set the standard for assholes everywhere. 

1.) Badger and Skinny Pete from Breaking Bad

We’re told to think that Heizenberg’s blue meth was so “pure” that it was irresistible to customers, but did you ever stop to think that maybe B & SP were just exceptional salesmen those first couples seasons?

There are a lot of great scenes in Breaking Bad, but I think this one pretty easily takes the cake:

“Dude you are so historically retarded.”

They’re the champs. We’ll miss you guys so much. 

Jonny Auping

The “Breaking Bad” Series Finale Drinking Game

Apparently, everyone all over the country is totally stumped over what will happen in tonight’s Breaking Bad series finale. The internet is blowing up with theories about who will die, who will do the killing and whether or not any character will have a happy ending.

To be honest, I’m surprised the general public is so clueless. I mean, it seems fairly obvious what they are setting us up for: Todd and the Neo-Nazis think they have everything totally under control. They’re about to kill Jesse…when all of a sudden….BAM…Badger and Skinny Pete to the rescue. Those Neo-Nazi assholes never saw it coming.

Regardless of whether or not the show ends with B and SP making a heroic rescue, the fact of the matter is that the episode will likely be very stressful to watch. It will also be the end of a five-year relationship that has meant so much to us.

What do so many of us do to cope with stressful situations? We drink.

And what do we often do when we involuntarily end a long-term relationship? We drink away the sorrow.

So it would probably be in our best interest that by the time tonight’s episode is over we are relatively intoxicated. That’s why I invented the “Breaking Bad Finale Drinking Game.”

*Please be responsible when participating in this game. Participants should be 21 or over. I mean, if you’re like 19 or 20 and in college, I guess it’s cool, just have someone watch out for the RA…And if you’re in high school and you still have some of the alcohol that your brother’s friend bought you leftover from the weekend then who am I to judge?…But NOBODY drive!…Seriously.

Drink After the Following Things Occur:

Walt Jr. looks confused:

I don’t think there’s been a scene in this entire series where one of his parents said anything to him and he just took it at face value. He pretty much always responds with…”W-W-Whaat?…..” then completely questions whatever they just said. To be fair, his cynicism was totally warranted, his dad was a sociopath, drugdealer and his mom was a money launderer and cheating on his dad….But still, the other day my mom told me my car was due for an inspection. I just said “OK” and got it inspected. I didn’t act like I just saw the end of Inception.

But with his life in complete shambles you can guarantee we’ll see a lot of ‘confused face’ by Flynn tomorrow. Every new expression is one drink.

Jesse says “Bitch”

Look, everything going on with Jesse right now is a complete bummer. Seeing him this sad is about as depressing as anything going on in my life right now.

That being said, we can’t lose perspective. Jesse has said “bitch” so many times over the past five seasons. He’s made it his own. He wouldn’t leave us without saying it at least one more time. We must honor him by drinking.

Holly Cries (Drink until she’s done crying):

We’ve seen Holly cry a few times…and each time it has haunted my dreams.  Every time that baby cries the show feels WAY too real. The scene where Marie tried to steal her couldn’t end fast enough:

Then another episode later we witnessed this and our collective hearts shattered into billions of pieces:

If she cries tonight, just drink. 

Whoever you’re watching it with predicts what’s going to happen next:

If this annoys you (and it annoys everyone) then you might want to watch the show alone because it’s in our nature to predict what’s going to happen next on Breaking Bad. We just want to seem smart.

So if your buddy, significant other, or family member says “I bet blah blah is about to happen,” just take a drink of beer and calmly remind yourself that the only possible ending is Badger and Skinny Pete serving justice. 

If Walt is still alive at the end of the episode (drink a ton):

How could they possibly let Walter White survive? He’s a terrible person. He has ruined so many lives. If he’s still alive when the credits hit, then you should drink until Low Winter Sun actually starts seeming like a good show.

If Walt dies in the episode (drink a ton):

How could they possibly kill the main character? We’ve stuck it out with him for so long. He can’t just die. If he dies this was all for nothing. If he dies you should drink until Talking Bad actually seems like a show worth watching.


That’s the game. I think it will numb the pain of losing one of the greatest shows in television history. Unlike meth, beer solves most of life’s problems. Don’t do meth, kids. Drink beer. But don’t drive. 

Also, don’t fret, we always have “Better Call Huell” to fall back on.

Jonny Auping

Theme Song Wars: Fresh Prince Vs. Friends

At one point earlier today (because I’m such a productive person), I had the ambitious notion that I would attempt to solve the mystery of which nineties sitcom was better, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air or Friends. After about two minutes of deep thought, I decided I would have a better chance of solving the conflict in Syria.

So I settled on the more reasonable, but still difficult task of determining which show has the best theme song. They might be two of the ten most recognizable songs to any human being born between the years 1980-1992. They are the standard for sitcom theme songs, carrying the torch passed down to them by Cheers. Things have gone downhill lately. The How I Met Your Mother theme song is almost as bad as the show itself. The Office and Parks and Rec theme songs don’t even have lyrics. 

Let’s start by watching the Fresh Prince theme song:

Every line is pure gold.

However, after watching that video, I think we’re all thinking the same thing. What happened in the middle of the song?

“I begged and pleaded with her, day after day, 

But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way.

She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket,

Then I put on my walkman and said ‘I might as well kick it.’

First class, Oh this is bad, drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass,

Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like? Hmm this might be alright.” 

Ummm….Where the f*ck did that come from? That wasn’t on the show. I’ll admit, they are pretty good lines, but as far as I’m concerned, they don’t exist. I live in a world where “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air” is followed by “I whistled for a cab and when it came near…”

Now Friends:

No video in the history of mankind has done more for clapping and fountains than what you just witnessed. 

So I think the best way to approach this debate is to go over a few categories and figure out which song has the edge in each one.

Lyrics: Fresh Prince

The edge has to go to Fresh Prince here. The song tells a story. No, it tells a saga…No…a quest. 

We all have the song memorized. Some people have the whole Friends song memorized, but they consciously made the effort to do so. No one tried to memorize the Fresh Prince song…it just sort of happened. 

I mean how can you deny gems like:

“I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said ‘Fresh’ and there were dice in the mirror.”

I still say “smell ya later” to cab drivers when I get out of the cab. It’s totally worth the extra dollar I tip them afterwards.

Catchiness: Friends

The Fresh Prince song doesn’t actually have a chorus, it’s just one long verse. The Friends song will get stuck in your head. There’s no avoiding it. You don’t have to know the words. As long as you see one episode, then the rest of the day you’ll be singing “I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour…I’ll be there for you…something something something….I’ll be there for you… Cause you’re there for me too….Doo doo do da doo doo da doooooo.”

Diversity: Fresh Prince

The Friends video has exactly zero non-white people in it. The Fresh Prince video has exactly one non-African American person in it…the cab driver.

Point Fresh Prince

Karaoke Friendly: Tie

It really depends on what caused your intoxication.

If you are drunk off of clear liquors (vodka, gin, tequila, etc) then you’ll be much more inclined to sing the Friends theme song. 

If you are drunk off of beer or perhaps whiskey then you’ll be saying “West Philadelphia, born and raised” way before your cue to start.

If you aren’t drunk at all then you really need to get off the stage. Karaoke machines should have reverse Breathalyzers.

Largest Appealing DemographicFresh Prince

This was hard. Look, if you enter a room full of sorority girls and play the Friends theme song, shit will hit the fan faster than the Rachel/Joey relationship ended. There will be screaming and jumping and off-pitch singing. 

In fact, any group of girls are bound to get excited. But I’m not sure you can say the same things about guys. Sure, I’ll be humming the song under my breath for the next two hours, but I won’t be openly excited. 

On the other hand, there’s no one who won’t get pumped to sing along with the Fresh Prince song. Don’t believe me? Test it. Walk up to a stranger and say “I got in one little fight and my mom got scared.” Then wait. They’ll try to resist, but eventually they’ll mumble “You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” And you better believe they’ll point their index finger back and forth while they do it. 

Winner: Fresh Prince

What can I say? They won more categories. The video had a lasting effect on me. For the longest time I thought that someone picking you up and spinning you sideways is what it was like to get your ass kicked. 

I want to make one thing clear: there are no losers in this showdown. We’re all winners for having experienced these songs throughout our lives.

For all you people disappointed that Friends didn’t win I know how you feel. I mean, no one told you life was going to be this way. Your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s DOA. It’s kind of like your life’s always stuck in second gear. It hasn’t been your day, your month, or even your year. 

I used to feel the same way…till I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. 

Jonny Auping

“Better Call Huell” The “Breaking Bad” Spinoff That SHOULD Happen

As Breaking Bad comes to a close, you’ve probably already heard that AMC has green-lit a spinoff based on Walter White’s grimy and resourceful lawyer, Saul Goodman. A lot of people are excited about  Better Call Saul (which will be a prequel) and are just glad that a little bit of their Breaking Bad universe can remain alive for at least one more season. 

I’m excited for it as well…I guess. My only concern is that we’re already familiar with too much of Saul’s story. Watching him will just make us wish that Walter or Jesse will walk into his office and the gang will all get back together to cook up some meth. 

If they want to make a spinoff they should base it off of a character that we know almost nothing about, but will still all recognize. That’s why I propose the production of Better Call Huell based on the life of Saul Goodman’s trusty bodyguard, Huell.

In a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Lavell Crawford, the actor who plays Huell, said this about the Saul-spinoff: “If they wanna do it, I’m game. I’d be love to see what his (Breaking Bad show runner Vince Gillagon) mind would think of.” Clearly Crawford is available.

Are you going to try to tell me that you don’t want to watch a show based on this guy?:

Here’s my pitch for the pilot:

Huell, only five years removed from being kicked off of the University of New Mexico football team for failing multiple conditioning tests, is looking for work. He becomes a night security guard at the zoo where he meets Patrick Kuby (Bill Burr) who also works security for the zoo. They are put in touch with a Japanese zookeeper who wants to smuggle one of the zoo’s rare Komodo Dragons back to Tokyo. They pull off the heist. It starts with animal smuggling which leads to security work for drug dealers which leads to security work for crooked lawyers and plenty of shenanigans ensue. Throughout the series, his girlfriend is pressuring him to keep away from illegal jobs, but he can’t resist the money.

There will be laughing, crying, and plenty of heavy breathing.

Here’s my reccomendations for potential cast members (besides Crawford):

Bill Burr playing best friend/sidekick, Patrick Kuby

One’s the fast talker and the other is the extremely slow talker, a perfect pair. 

Uzo Aduba playing Huell’s girlfriend

Aduba plays “Crazy Eyes” in Orange is the New Black. She won’t be as insane and intentionally unattractive as she is in Orange, but the character of the girlfriend will have to be played by someone who we’ll believe as crazy enough to date Huell and intense enough to have some control over him.

Andre Royals playing Huell’s first drug dealer client.

That’s right, “Bubbles” from The Wire. The guy needs to make his return to television, this time as a drug king pin instead of an addict. Maybe we could see his ruthless side. The contrast in size between him and Huell would create all sorts of hilarious interactions. 

Jeff Goldblum as the corrupt politician who has it out for Huell

So at one point, Huell does some bodyguard work for a local politician who tries to force a young campaign manager into having sex with him. Huell stops the act from happening and intimidates and humiliates the man with his enormous size. Throughout the series, the politician tries to take Huell out for revenge. I have no idea why Jeff Goldblum is playing this character, it just feels right to me.

I feel as though I’ve made a pretty strong case for the potential of this series and I expect pre-production to start in the next four months. Sure, right now Lavell Crawford might just be the 14th most important character on Breaking Bad, but once this show takes off this sort of behavior will be a regular thing for Mr. Crawford:

-Jonny Auping